So here's a First World Pain for ya

That moment when everyone you know is flailing about a movie, and you go see it, and so badly want to love it and....wow ahahaa hell no.

 I'd really love to see a movie and not spend half of it eyerolling at the incredibly dense borderline insulting ethnic and gender stereotypes that make up the entire main cast. 

Also I'd like to see a movie that gets basic physics right. Oh no, I'm not talking about combat physics here, those I can suspend quite a bit of disbelief for.  But when, ten minutes in, we throw basic aerodynamics in the shitter because we simply MUST without doubt have the Sad Asian Girl Under Umbrella trope (uh, I dunno if any of y'all ever spend time around helicopters but an open umbrella and a close range landing copter...don't mix. 

(In B4 'it's the fyooture they have magic wind resisting umbrellas).

I'd like to see a movie where I don't know the end after the first twenty minutes of the film. 

I'm disappointed. I really really wanted to like this movie, and all my fandom friends are flailing about it, the ones whose opinions matter to me, and so I see it and I'm just...I think I didn't see the same movie?  Because I saw something with offensive stereotypes of Germans, nerds, and Asians, where Russians are Bleached Bitches, and Crimson Typhoon is run by three Chinese triplets.... because, ya know, they all look alike. *headdesk*.

. I saw a movie where MEN win the war, and the one woman who actually gets some rounding is still called a 'girl' not a 'woman'.  I saw a movie where once again White American Man saves the universe, with everyone else being supporting players.  I saw a movie with a mess of a political message (we caused this with Global Warming, I say, in the middle of July about to put on a sweater), but that in the end entirely supports Western cultural imperialism and appropriation. And of course heterosexual romance. If a female exists and has a personality, she must be romance fodder. 

I'm just...I'm tired of it?  I'm tired of 'strong female characters' meaning 'female character overcoming some past trauma who is emotionally, therefore, made of spun sugar.'.

And what was with Del Toro giving the definitions and pronunciation of kaiju and jaeger in the opening seconds of the film? What the hell was that about? Does he trust his audience so little he thinks we can't handle foreign words? Is it another signifiier of the cooptation of the alien? 

I FEEL A CONFERENCE PAPER COMING ON....